Real life.

April 21, 2010

Today I woke up in Little Rock with the first feeling of real unease since I have started. It’s strange, I feel more alone in this big city than I have anywhere else on this trip. It is also the first time I have really been around people my age since I have started. Seeing their lives, the constant party thrills, endless pop music, elaorately constructed personalities and complex social arrangements makes me feel isolated. Where is life really lived? I can’t tell the difference between living and acting, and that feeling has begun to worm its way into what I thought was my stone-solid determination.

I feel at once connected to the world on a molecular level, yet alienated from my own culture. The dynamic is always shifting though, inside, outside, around and upside down. Things are never what they seem. The view is too narrow.

In any event, I set out with a goal, and with reason. I wanted to step outside, to push myself, to see the world and everyone in it from a different perspective. Including myself. I’m just a little misdirected as to what the value of that knowledge is.

I will make it all the way across, and beyond. My heart just needs a little air.

Up next: Ola, AR

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2 Responses to “Real life.”

  1. hwardphoto said

    Wish I was out there with you.

  2. Art said

    If you’re not already there, Russellville is a cool town, even if it’s fronted by motels. A functioning small town with parks and a small college by a lake. Unfortunately, the lake hosts a nuclear power plant, but hey! Anyhow, if you can cross the river and head up to Petit Jean (sp?) Park, you can camp on top of a hella mesa before you even get to the real West. Also, if you stay on that same road as Petit Jean, you get to Subaco Monastary, and they’re used to travelers. It’s spectacular, way back from the road with a great view. From there, it’s another hour or so into Fort Smith and then you’re in O!K!L!A!H!O!M!A!,gateway to the west. Stop at the welcome center and look at all the Indian tribes that have info posters around the walls.

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